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Granted, some have had bad experiences with the people they meet; with people, they called best friends, with their close associates. That may be because they didn’t know how to make good friends or have difficulty maintaining friendships. I promise you this post will make you learn how to make good friends with the people you meet or admire if you’ve had such experiences.
Learning how to make good friends can be a wonderful experience for anybody. Friendships are one of the basic needs of every human. Rich or poor, young or old, famous or infamous, we all need people in our lives who can eventually be BFFs. Everyone is a product of relationships. Friend relationships, in particular, have a lot of physical, spiritual, financial, mental benefits attached to it. This post is focused on how to make and keep good friends at school, at work, or anywhere you wish.
There are good people around you whose presence in your life will amaze and bring the best out of you. Everyone value friendships with these kinds of people. Good friends are like paper parasols on exotic wine glasses. If you don’t have good friends in your life right now, you might consider getting one or two after reading this post on how to make good friends.
There are great things you can achieve with a friend by your side than doing things solo. We must be wise to choose the good ones. Let me show you how to identify the qualities of good friends and make friends with them.
Table of Contents
How To Make Friends When You Have None
Not everyone has friends. This could be due to bad experiences with former friends or an introvert personality. But the bottom line remains the same -No one is an island. There are things you can achieve with a friend by your side than doing things alone. You can learn how to make friends when you have none right now.
You could have experienced betrayals in your past friendships with some fellows. It doesn’t mean you should close your mind and reject people trying to be friendly with you. There are great people you can make friends with, far or near. Let’s look at a few tips about how to make good friends when you have none.
1. Be on The Look-out For a Potential Friend
That means you have to observe and notice people around you more. Start with your neighbor or your co-worker. A gym class is also a good place to make friends. A potential friend could be in your club, or someone you’ve been paired with in a class or job project. Go with someone you like. Someone who makes you happy. Someone who approves of you and won’t put you down. If anyone criticizes you all the time, they are likely to be the opposite of what you are looking for in a friendship.
If you want to know how to make good friends when you have none. You need to learn how to interact with the people you meet every day. Even if you are an introvert, you can still make a lot of good friends like yourself. Right there in your class or your workplace, summon up the courage to strike up a conversation with someone you like during break time. I’m sure there will be few persons who have your kind of personality too and are half as scared as you talking to a stranger.
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3. Take Advantage of Social Media and Friend Apps
There are also lots of apps designed for you to make friends. There is Bumble BFF, Interpal, Hey! Vina and so on. Check out which one is good for you. Ranging from platonic friends to best of friends, you can never tell who is waiting to be your friend on a friend app or a social media platform.
Distance is no longer an issue at a digital age such as we are in now. If you aren’t active on Facebook and the likes, start being active and add up new friends. You may have to read ‘How to make friends online’ again to have more ideas about how to take advantage of Social Media to make good friends.
How to Make Friends at School
You probably have someone or some persons you will love to be friends with and you are wondering how to go about it. Learning how to make good friends can be fun and exciting. It’s not about being with the most popular guy or girl. It’s about having a good friend around you. You will understand better as you read on. So, how do you make friends at school? Here are some wonderful tips to help you learn how to make friends at school.
4. What Are Your Needs?
Firstly, what exactly do you need in a good friend? What’s good for me might not be good for you. We all have what we call our ‘good friend definition’. Some people would love introverts as friends, those who rarely go out but prefer to stay indoors. You may like outgoing people or those with both personalities as friends.
What type you choose, there are certain basic qualities you should look out for if you need a good friend. A good friend is someone who understands helps, encourages, respects, and shares common interests with you.
5. Be Approachable and Friendly
Wearing a smile when you are in the class or on the school premises is one of the best ways to learn how to behave with school friends. And a good one at that. Smiling not only makes people believe you are comfortable with them approaching you, but it also shows you are likely to be someone with a lovely character. So, smile as frequently as possible.
6. Offer to Help
If you notice a mate you like, having problems with a subject in class and it’s an area you are good at, why not offer to help with it? Or perhaps they need a ride home; you could help them get home on time. It has a way of allowing you to converse with them and get to know them better. If you are both at the cafeteria and you have some change with you, why not offer to help pay for their meal or drink?
7. How About Your Classmate?
You can start with someone sitting close to you in the class? Be the first to wish them a good morning. Ask if you can borrow a pen. Bring a snack from home for them to create a bond. This has a lot of advantages for you. You will be able to easily ask your friend what that teacher just said, share notes or textbooks, borrow a pen or share secret giggles or laughs at what someone did that was funny. How to make good friends is that simple.
Start up a conversation with them and give your best suggestive smile. If you like someone in a higher class, walk up to them, tell them you like something they said or did the other day, and would like to be friends with them.
How to Make Friends at Work
So you finally landed yourself a great job and wondering how you are going to get along with your colleagues at work. You are probably a friendly person who loves making friends and want to know how to make good friends at work easily. These great tips on how to make friends at work will help you increase your success rate at work. You also need friends at work to enjoy and have a swell time working.
8. Introductions are Important.
Introduce yourself to your colleagues during a break, lunchtime, when you meet in the elevator or the staircase. You don’t have to say anything much. A brief introduction to you will do. Your name and how you are excited to meet them is all you need to make a good impression and it’s sure to catch the eye of a potential good friend. Give them a warm welcome that suggests you are friendly and wouldn’t mind being friends with any of them.
9. Join in Office Conversations
If you always keep to yourself during office hours, how to make friends at work might be a little bit hard. No matter how brief your responses are if you want to learn how to make good friends even if at work, you need to contribute to office chit chats. Many of them won’t admit it but they want to know you better and are trying to get you to talk.
10. Friendship is Built
This is perhaps one of the crucial things about knowing how to make good friends at work. While you should consider being a friend to everyone, you may not make close friends immediately you start work, it’s gradual.
And you should use that period to know who you will like to be BFFs with, to know who is worthy to be a close friend to you. Get talking with a few potential friends. Sit with them at lunch, get to know their likes and dislikes, and see if you have similarities with them.
11. Get Interested in Their Personal Lives
Don’t be too interested anyway or you might come off as someone who doesn’t mind their business. Start with general conversations about their lives because you are just getting to know them. It would seem a little off and odd to ask a too personal question on your first week at a new place of work. Ask questions like;
- What’s your favorite flavor?
- What’s your favorite name?
- Does everyone in your family have blond hair like yours?
- Do you sing? What are your hobbies?
- Did you enjoy your weekend?
12. Send Them Messages
Everyone loves messages, casual messages, how are you doing messages, I care messages. This shows to your colleague that you are a caring and friendly type. How would you feel if a message from a co-worker comes in your phone wishing you a wonderful weekend? Great right? Go ahead and do the same. Messages are also a form of communication and it creates a special bond between two people if done rightly.
13. Praise Them in The Presence of Others
By now, you perhaps like someone at work who you wouldn’t mind being friends with. Whenever they do something that impresses you, give them a lovely compliment. Saying something good about another person increases their attraction towards you. You could also intentionally sing their praises when they’ve done something applaudable.
14. Show Respect to All Your Colleagues
‘Familiarity’ they say breeds contempt. It’s common for workers to begin to treat and address themselves as equals and most often, it’s taken too far which is not a good idea.
If you want to know how to make good friends, never interrupt a colleague until they are done speaking. Especially, a potential friend. Stay away from gossip and all sorts. No one wants to be friends with a colleague who always talks down on others.
How To Make Friends Online
Modern technology has made how to make friends online so easy. There’s Facebook, Twitter, Skype, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat…All these platforms were created so people can connect and make friends online. Isn’t it great that we can now make friends from any part of the world? I have a few of them in my life. Distance is not a barrier anymore. Learning how to make good friends online can be an added advantage to your life.
15. Be a ‘Social Media Person’
Well, the most obvious thing you can do first is to join a social media platform. If you have been inactive, it’s time to be more active. Many times, when people want to know how to make friends online, they forget that they need to be active on their accounts. Do you remember that Facebook friend who always likes and takes time to comment on your post? He or she will likely make a good friend.
There are so many how to make friends apps you can download on Google Play Store. You can start with just a short introduction of yourself and tell them you are searching for a friend. It’s always good to go straight to the point because just saying ‘hi or hello’ may not get any response.
There are so many fake accounts on social media and many are now more cautious of those who chat them up. Be even more sure that your supposed friend is not operating a fake account. If the person has very few pictures or just recently opened his account, you need to be suspicious.
16. Compliment Them
You could compliment them on their picture they posted. If they inspired you with something they wrote on their post, you could mention it to them in their messenger and add how you love that you both are on the same page.
While chatting them up, be real and sincere, don’t try to impress them. Some people can see right through your chats if you are being superficial so be real as possible. If you are serious about how to make good friends online, you need to be deliberate at liking and commenting on their posts.
17. Send a Voice Note.
Hearing from someone who chatted you up is more personal than a typed chat and is likely to be taken more seriously. Hearing your voice might endear you to them.
18. Be Particular
Be very particular about who you want to make an online friend. Do they have something in common with you? Do you think they will be a good friend? Have you weighed the possibilities of a long-lasting friendship with them? Do they fit into your ‘good friend definition’?
19. Don’t force it
Take time to get to know each other. If you have someone you are hoping to be friends with, build up the friendship. Some friendships build quickly and some take time depending on those involved. But even in fast friendships, there is still time for bonding and creating trust.
How to Improve Friendship With Someone You Love
So you’ve met someone who you like and you don’t mind taking your friendship to the next level? You have learned how to make good friends and now you want to know how to improve your friendship with them? Yes, it’s possible. You can learn how to improve friendship with someone you love.
There will always be people we click with and trust over time. They have proven to be the kind of friend you want in your life and you are not willing to lose them. Here are the things you can do to increase the bond between you and your friend(s).
20. Prioritize Your Communication With Them.
If you have been faltering in this, it’s time to take it more seriously. The less you talk with each other, the farther you will be from building a strong friendship. Talk about the little and the big things. Keep calling each other even if you can’t meet up. Send short messages to show you are thinking about them. If you can’t respond to a chat immediately, let them why later
21. Fulfill Your Promises
‘People with good intentions make promises, people with good character keep them’– Unknown If you make promises to your friends, keep them. If you can’t, let them know at the time that you can’t fulfill the promise you made. It’s as simple as that. A lot of good friendships have been destroyed because of this. Why make promises you can’t fulfill? There will be times you want to fulfill your promise but due to a reason or another, you couldn’t. send them a message or give them a call.
22. Find What Makes Your Friend Tick And Do It
You can also put it the other way around. If they don’t like something and have told you, it’s better to avoid doing it. They will respect you more for that. Get to know what they like and don’t like.
23. Keep Their Secrets Confidential
Whatever they told you must remain with you and not heard by an outsider or a third party. Be intentional about keeping personal information friends share with you otherwise, it could lead to a lack of trust.
24. Help Your Friend Become Better
If they are struggling in an area and they seem to need your help. Please offer all the help you can. Don’t leave them the same way you met them. As long as they are open, willing to be corrected, and flexible.
24. Always Appreciate Their Little Efforts
If you are always complaining and whining about the things they do that aren’t to your taste, you may end up losing the friendship. Tell them how much you appreciate their presence in your life. Gratitude will strengthen your friendship.
25. It’s Okay to Disagree Sometimes
Understand that you will not always see things from the same perspective as others. You may think the referee shouldn’t have blown the whistle in a football match while your potential friend thinks that was the best thing to do. It’s their opinion and you should allow them to have the freedom for their views.
If you try to always convince them to think as you do, then that’s not how to be a good friend. So, leave them to their opinions. Except, of course, you are sure their life is susceptible and their opinion may lead to dangerous consequences.
How to Make Friends as a Teenager
The teenage years are a little complicated. As a teenager, it’s a time when your emotions and feelings are becoming more real to you and the desire to socialize is stronger, it doesn’t matter whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. It’s normal to want to be with your mates because they understand you and feel what you feel.
That been said, it’s an awesome idea to learn how to make friends as a teenager or how to maintain a friendship with a girl or a guy. You may have one or two school mates who you want to be friends with. These tips will help you learn how to make good friends even as a teenager,
26. Be Active in Extracurricular Activities
There are a lot of activities that are related to your interests to join in school. From sports to music, drama, or art classes. There will be something that tickles your fancy. And that’s probably where you will meet potential friends. The good thing about it is that your friends will be people who love what you love.
27. Share Your Lunch
Sitting beside someone at the cafeteria and don’t know how to talk with them? Offer them some part of your lunch. It will cut across to them that you are generous and kind and will immediately warm their hearts towards you. If they are eating alone, you could ask if they don’t mind you joining them. Give your best smile while at it.
28. Don’t Try to Impress
This is one of the crucial points to note about how to make good friends. Simply be yourself. Your original self. If you fake it, you might end up attracting the wrong friend. And you don’t want that.
How To Make Friends in Your 30s
Apart from me, who else experienced the reduction of his or her circle of friends the moment they clock 30 and above? One day, we are having late-night parties and going to fun places together. Next, everyone is planning to move to a new city, get married, have kids, take a higher education course.
The list just goes on and on. Which of course, means we might not be in touch with each other as we used to. No doubt, many people at this age feel they have more responsibilities and start realizing that there is more to life than partying all night long.
For every problem, there is a solution. You can learn how to have friends in your 30s. You have learned how to make friends in your 20s all this while and see how friendships are paramount in one’s life especially if you know how to make good friends. Now, all you need to do is re-strategize. Here are some tips on how to make friends in your 30s.
29. Join a Group That You Love
It could be online, like a Facebook group, or it could be a gym class, or a choir or a golf club. Groups that focus on your interests are a great place to see a potential best of friends. You will be sure that your friend will be someone that you share common interests with.
30. Be Friendly With Everyone
I added ‘everyone’ because someone you thought would be a great friend might piss you off with their way of talking or you might eventually discover that you didn’t ‘click’. So, don’t be focused on just one potential friend.
I suggest you be generally friendly to the people you meet. Chances are that someone else is on the lookout for a friend like you and will be attracted to your demeanor and warmth you bring to a room.
31. Social Media Will Help
Social Media will help you find friends in your 30s. Remember that fellow who always comments and likes your post consistently? They could make a great friend. Chat them up and strike up a conversation. Just a hello and how are you doing is okay, then wait for their response and take it from there. Only ensure that you are not chatting with an impostor.
32. Your Neighbor Next Door
Your neighbor living close to you can make a potential best friend too. Except you have an annoying neighbor who always causes a nuisance, this advice is not for you. You are better off on your own. But not everyone has annoying neighbors, do they?
When you cook or bake, share some of your food with them. Say hello and ask them a few questions when you meet on the staircase or while mowing the lawn. If you keep up with this, after a while, you might become the best of friends.
How to Make and Keep Good Friends
Good friends are an asset in anyone’s life. If you know how to make and keep good friends, you are a lucky person. Whatever you go through in life, good or bad, if you know how to keep friends, you will go through life easily and with less drama than you would have done with bad friends around you.
It’s not about having a lot of friends, it’s about how to make good friends. You can have a lot of friends and still be lonely. But despite their significance, it can be a little technical to know how to get a friend and that’s why I have rounded up 14 points you should know how to make and keep good friends, how to keep a friendship strong and how to get a best friend back.
33. Friendship Is Important
If the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. I think you need to know why you need good friends in your life. Then, you will probably take how to make and keep good friends more seriously. Misty Copeland said, ‘Anything is possible if you have the right people there to support you. Do you know those good people around you will make you live a more happy life?
34. Good Mood
According to a study done in 2011, being with a good friend reduces drastically stress hormones that your body gives off when you’re stressed. If you are going through a hard time, good friends around you will boost your mood. And if you are celebrating, they will make the celebration worthwhile. Good friends have been known to bring out the best in people. You are sure to share happy moments and that will moderate your blood pressure.
35. Decide to Be a Good Friend
This is how to be a best friend forever. It means having the qualities you desire in a good friend yourself. Pay the visit, make the call, buy the stuff, do your part. Treat your friends like you would want to be treated. It’s common for many people to always focus on what they want their best friend to be, forgetting that they also need to have those same qualities towards their friends.
36. Ask Them Strategic Questions
After you picked someone or some persons as a potential best friend, try asking some strategic questions. You aim to get to know them better. If you want to know how to make good friends, you need to know what they would do in a likely situation or what their view is about a topic that means a lot to you. And the best way to know is to pose some questions to them.
You could ask them what is their greatest fear or who is their role model. Their answer will give off the kind of person they are likely to be and will help you know who you are dealing with.
37. Choose Your Friends Wisely
You don’t have to be friends with every Tom and Harry. After all, it’s your life and you have all the liberty to choose who you want to be with. Friendship is not forced. When you have to do something to fit what your friend wants even if it does not want you in the first place, it is not a good sign.
38. Ask Them If You Could be friends
Yeah, that’s right. If you like someone and seem to enjoy their company, why not ask if you both can be friends officially? Those I can say are awesome and lasting friends in my life were those I asked for their friendship and we are doing great together.
39. Do Kinds of Stuff Together
This is the surest way to keep good friends. The more you do things together, and the more you will have a lasting friendship. Pick a day in a week and just go out and have some fun or you could decide to invite him or her to your home.
40. Take Your Time
You just met someone who doesn’t know much about you and because you feel you both ‘click’, then they are automatically your best friend. Friendship is built over time. You should take your time to build your friendship gradually.
41. Be Understanding
Your friend also has things to do. You should understand that and not expect her to always put away important things she needs to do for your sake. I said ‘always’. A friend should indeed be there for you, no doubt, but not to the point of not having a life of their own. Do you understand what I mean? They also have things to attend to, and so, if just one day, they seem not there for you, you should understand and not tag them as a ‘bad friend’.
42. Don’t Be Too Picky
It’s good to set up standards for who you want to be friends with but don’t make them too high. Even if your potential friend is not a master’s degree holder, you can still be great pals. They could help you in lots of ways that aren’t even related to academics. In a nutshell, don’t be too picky. Just go with someone you click with and even if you don’t click, they don’t necessarily have to be a best friend. Just enjoy them as they are.
43. Communicate All The Time
Or at least frequently. If there is a bridge in how you both communicate, it’s going to affect your friendship from becoming stronger. Friends that stick together stay together. Create time for communication.
44. Open up Gradually
It’s no longer news that secrets shared between friends help them bond. The more you are willing to talk about your personal life, the more you are likely to open up to you and the more connected you will both feel.
45. Disagreements Are Bound to Happen
If your friend hurts you unknowingly, please tell him/her. Let them know so that they can be more careful next time. We are all different and as a friend, I might do what will make you angry unknowingly. You will step on each other’s toes, though not intentionally. But as you get to know each other, the hurts will reduce.
46. Invite Them to Your Outings
Just once in a while, you could invite to go with you to a party, club, or a poetry night. It will mean a lot to your friend. It means you value them and hold them in high esteem.
47. Don’t Be Stuck Up on Just One Friend
Having different and lots of friends are the best decision you will ever make as regards your social life. I know how it is having just one friend, you’ve accustomed yourselves to each other and can’t seem to do things apart. But doing that means you will in a way, stress out your only friend. What about days they have to attend to personal things?
Think about it this way, you want to go out to a party and need your only friend to go with you if s/he has an exam to write on that day, what will happen? Do you see why you need to have lots of friends? I agree we may have that one friend we feel closer with, still, having different types of friends is an added advantage.
48. Good Vibes
One that makes you happy, one that inspires you when are down, another that prays with you, yet another that can put up a defense for you and so on. Not everyone is capable of having all these qualities.
49. Have a Listening Ear and a Gentle Tongue
To know how to keep friends you value so much, you need to learn how to listen. If they feel they are been heard and understood by you, it will strengthen the bond of friendship. This is the best thing you can do for your friend(s).
50. Choice of Words
Also, to know how to keep a friendship strong, be mindful of what you say to them. When you are angry at what they did, instead of focusing on their person and calling them names, focus on what they did that hurt you and resolving it.
Here are my closing thoughts. If anyone thinks they are doing you a great favor by being your friend, that’s a red flag you shouldn’t take lightly. Don’t beg to be accepted by anyone. There are lots of people who will consider it a privilege of being a friend to you.
A good friend will celebrate you. A good friend will value and respect you. A good friend will cheer you up and raise your spirit. I’m sure you have learned a lot about how to make good friends. Has this post been worth your time? Let me know in the comment section. Share this post with a friend or family who wants to know how to make good friends.
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