We all know that saying “I love you” is one of the most important parts of a relationship. And, it is often considered a very intimate thing because you have to open up and share yourself with another person. The moment you can’t do this, you should never say I love you if you don’t mean it.
When you love someone, you say it as often as you once did, you say it when you don’t mean to, and you whisper it when you don’t have to.
You may have said it a thousand times, but never in your heart. But when you’re older and have some experience, you’ll know that every time you say “I love you” is your first time. And the more chances you take to say it, the better chance you’ll have of realizing that it’s always been true.
It is normal not to know if you should say I love you to your partner, it only means you are having doubts and the best thing to do is to hold on to those words and never say I love you if you don’t mean it.
This article is here to guide you if you are confused about whether or not to say those sweet and vital words.
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You Should Never Say I Love You if You Don’t Mean it
Saying I love you and not hearing it back might be frustrating. But when a man can’t say I love you when you say it to him or even before you do, then, you need to pause that relationship and access what is wrong because not saying I love you back quotes that the feeling is not reciprocated sometimes.
Some may ask too, ‘why is it hard for me to say I love you to anyone?’ Or why is it important to say I love you every day to him? Well, saying you love a person brings affirmation to what you feel and confirms to the person your heart’s disposition.
If you are someone who will never say I love you, you might experience some effects of not saying those words. However, you should never say I love you if you don’t mean it – if your feelings are mixed signals, have a clear signal before muttering those words.
And as you watch out for cases of doubtfulness or assurance of your feelings for him or her, here are more questions you should answer genuinely.
1. Does your partner truly trust you? Any indication of uncertainty can make you lose trust and make doubt rise consistently and this is not good for a relationship. Thinking positively now and thinking otherwise the next minute is not the best way to enjoy a relationship. You have to be sure that both of you can go the extra mile to defend yourselves.
Do this by talking deeply about things and making conversations honest, don’t be secretive and shady, and always saying the truth. But if after all this your partner still doesn’t truly trust you, then that is all you need to never say I love you if you don’t mean it. Saying it only makes you a hypocrite.
2. Do you disagree on most matters? Having the same voice towards matters is important for partners. If a party is saying ‘A’ and the other is saying ‘B’, it could bring periodical breakups in interest and even involvements and make you both not unidirectional.
Imagine him going one way and you facing the opposite way. Thereby making parallel decisions that wouldn’t be in agreement. You’ll end up spending most of the time you should be productive arguing because you don’t agree on most matters and this could even make you distant heart-wise.
3. Is your partner too possessive? Being possessive provokes jealousy and it amounts to irrational reactions now and then. If your partner is too possessive and jealous it means he thinks and cares about you, and that’s fine, but it is not healthy.
If he cannot work on balancing his emotions and becoming mature about it, then you might be getting into something that would spark some non-palatable reactions in the future.
4. Does your partner love to share special moments with you? Do you feel that you are not wanted sometimes or seen as being pushy by the other if you ask to spend time with him? Do you feel your partner doesn’t love to spend special moments with you? If that is this case, then these are signs you should never say ‘I love you
If your partner cannot spare some moments with you except you ask and when you do, it’s like he’s doing you a favor, then, he doesn’t love you, and if you love him like you think you do. You deserve better. Don’t give your partner the satisfaction of hearing you say those words.
5. Why do you feel like love is only physical? If you doubt or feel like his or her love is only physical, then you might not want to affirm your love for him any time soon until this mixed feeling is gone or you come out of such a short term relationship.
Noticing that the public show is much more than what you are getting when you are not in the open, then this could bring mixed signals and should be checked to know what you are in for.
How to Respond to Mixed Signals Before You Say I do
Ambition-wise and in all aspects of life, do you still feel like you consider doing the same things? Do you both still have passion for the same things? If there seems to be a shift in these things that might mean that you would both have to sit down and talk.
You should never say i love you if you don’t mean it or say that you are ready to move on with him or her to the next phase of the relationship if you have not found answers to the mixed feelings and signals coming your way, either from him or from you.
Never pass up the chance to say I love you and never throw away a chance to say I love you because it is like a magic word that makes relationships sweeter. Never waste an opportunity to say I love you, and make sure it is never too late to say I love you. However, you should not respond to what you think is love if you have mixed feelings.
Here are 5 more questions that you should answer while looking at how to respond to mixed signals before you say I do along with the questions.
6. Are you having doubts? The major person here to check is you first because you might not be able to detect his feelings sometimes until you spend more time with him. If you are having doubts, this is a signal contributing to uncertainty about a relationship and you should put to check why you are having this.
So, you can ask questions, listen more to him, and not try to hold back and manage what you feel. Put out questions to get answers to clear your doubt. This is what will bring you out of the realm of never saying I love you.
7. Is he holding back emotionally? Some guys do not know how to express emotions well. It seems to them like they would make themselves vulnerable. Guys do not like having the soft spot, so it’s normal if he is holding back emotionally.
You can get closer, make him see you wouldn’t use his being emotional against him. He has to be open about his feelings and emotions around you so that you can understand his feelings better because ladies work and interpret what shows of emotions are being expressed.
If you can’t get him to express his emotions, keep showing yours but never say I love you if you don’t mean it, until you can ascertain he feels the same way.
8. Do you still feel the same way as when you met? Time has passed since you both met and the spark you felt then needs to be checked now. Does the spark still feel the same way as when you met? It may not be more of the exciting state it was.
But it should have grown from just having sparks to true mature feelings of love and being able to decide that you want to be with each other despite the hurdles.
If those feelings are different, these are contradicting signals and you might need to visit what went wrong. If you grew far, then close up the gap. Find the missing link between you two and build the bridge if you want it to work out.
9. Do you still want to make sacrifices? Making sacrifices for each other tells a lot of how much you want to stick close and together erase and remove all odds on the way. So, if you still feel you want to make a sacrifice, it’s good. If it is no longer the case, then you should check what is wrong.
You should be able to naturally want to do things that may not even involve money for the other. Giving your time, and other resources to make each other better would do you both a lot of good.
10. Do your priorities in life still match? If two persons walking or working together do not feel the same urgency in doing something together at the same time or making your priorities in life match, then so much might not work out between both.
It’s like this even in organizations. Agreements matter and the way you want to execute plans in succession makes it obvious if you’ll both agree to be together and make it work out for long. If it is not so, try to look into the plans together and see where the issue is from, either, conflicted interest, focus, or passion. Make your decisions after this.
Concluding on this note, never say i love you if you don’t mean it based on the emotions you feel at the moment. Be sure that whatever you feel will last long to keep your relationship running smooth. Have we been able to help? Then don’t forget to comment, and share with those in similar situations as you.