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It’s very crucial to note that fixing anything that’s destroyed will require a strong determination as a primary ingredient to eventually get the desired result. It’s the same for relationships too.
So, can a broken relationship be restored? Yes! And that’s why you are reading this to learn how to fix a relationship you ruined. I must also let you know that fixing is hard. Despite the hard fact, I’ve listed out three basic and simple to understand steps to follow to achieve your desire to fix your relationship.
Also, I must quickly let you know that it’s a process. The steps I’ve listed below may take longer before it yields, notwithstanding, it sure works. If you read this article to the end, you would successfully get back your partner. Let’s quickly dive into it.
Table of Contents
How to Fix a Relationship You Destroyed
One thing that is most common in a relationship is taking some steps that can cost one greatly. Don’t think you are the only one whose relationship is destroyed base on what you’ve done and you are looking for how to fix a relationship you destroyed.
There are thousands of people all over the world who are also searching for solutions just as you are doing right now. So, stop brooding!
Do you want to learn how to fix a relationship you ruined? Then you’ve got to painstakingly implement the steps below. Make sure you read through and understand every step I’ve listed. Repairing relationships is what I’ve got a flair for, so you understand my passion.
It’s also important to know that this process of fixing will be emotionally tasking. Therefore, you’ve got to prepare your mind for a new start.
Take out past hurtful memories, and throw the baggage of hate and contempt out the window. All these will require time. Hence, take time to fix yourself before fixing a relationship. Get ready and read till the end!
• Bridge the gap: The first step on how to fix a relationship you destroyed is to bridge the gap. After you destroyed the relationship, you created a gap. This gap can be fixed, but it has to start with you and it stats within you.
Since you’ve made up your mind to fix the relationship you once destroyed for whatever may be the reason. This suggests the tendency to have regrets, but you have to forgive yourself first.
Everybody makes mistakes, even costly ones. Forgive yourself and reach out to your partner. When reaching out to your partner, avoid raising hurtful discussions or blame games. Rather, be sincere with your partner on your decision to fix things. Even if you get a sad response, just let time pass over it and try again.
Bridging the gap may take a long time, as it usually takes the longest time because it involves a healing process. When things become settled here you’re just two more steps to fixing your relationship.
• Take responsibility: The second step to learn how to fix a relationship you ruined is to take responsibility. To take responsibility means to build sufficient strength in your emotions.
Remember you destroyed the relationship, and this will certainly hurt your partner. Now that you’re trying to fix things, expect certain tantrums from the other party.
Your ability to take charge of your emotions and stay clear of saying hurtful words amidst tantrums is a major factor to consider.
In some other cases, there’ll be no tantrums, but you’ll have to put in the work to convince your partner of your new stance to fix the relationship. You’ll make most of the calls; organize dates and a lot more.
• Avoid fear buttons and breaking walls of defense: It’s important to know that in learning how to fix a relationship you ruined, you need to be extra careful of fear buttons, whether it’s your partner’s or yours.
Dr. Gary Smalley defined the fear button as the core fear of every man that when pushed leads to a fear dance that eventually breaks any relationship. Fear buttons like the fear of feeling rejected that was pushed when you destroyed the relationship can generate walls around your partner.
In such a case as this, avoid breaking through those walls and avoid pushing more buttons. Also, learn to control your fear buttons in case they’re pushed, and certainly will be pushed.
Penetrate the walls around your partner circumspectly and give room for patience. With your decision to try these steps, the chance of fixing your relationship is a guarantee.
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I Messed Up My Relationship How Do I Fix It
Many things could have led to the ruin you created in your relationship; whether you cheated, lied, or said some hurtful words. Now, you’re saying, I messed up my relationship, how do I fix it? Below is a roadmap to fixing it.
What I’ve shared here is generally accepted by experts, so you can trust what you read from here. This roadmap will lead you to win back your relationship
So how do you get over a relationship you ruined? Well, I’ve shared all below, but because you’re eager to know it. I’ll say, the first thing is to reflect on yourself. Why did you ruin it initially? What wrong attitude did you display or why did you cheat, if you did.
These are self-evaluation questions that need answers before you take your journey with the roadmap provided below.
With similar experiences that I’ve had in getting entangled in a messed up relationship, and had to give a second chance, I can tell you there’s still hope for you to rebuild yourself and your partner. Now that you’re here to fix things, let’s see how to fix a relationship you ruined.
• Acknowledge your error and make amends with your partner: Earlier, I highlighted a crucial step that you need to take before getting to use this roadmap. Self-reflection will help you see deeper into the underlying factor that made you mess things up.
Were you being selfish or impatient and you threw caution to the wind and messed things up? Your ability to evaluate the error in you will help you become cautious not to repeat it.
After the self-evaluation is complete, you’ve got to own up to your mistakes. Acknowledge that you made a mistake. Get through to your partner and seek an audience.
If you didn’t get it once, try a second time. One sad truth I will not leave out is your partner’s choice to let go of the relationship. If this happens, then you’ll have to just let things be.
But if you get the audience, make a sincere and open acknowledgment of your errors and plead for another chance to prove your love. That’s how to fix a relationship you ruined.
• Span the spaces and forget the past: It’s hereby important that you put the past behind you. It’s already a past. Even if you don’t know how to fix a relationship you ruined, if all you can do is to put the past behind you, you’ve solved the problem halfway.
Talk about your mistakes, get them sorted out, and leave them on the table. Do not dwell on them. You might be tempted to visit the mistake and brood on it, don’t.
• Prove your change: It’s very important to prove your repentance to your partner. You can certainly do this in various ways. I’ll suggest you go with a surprise gift on your next visit after you’ve made amends. This will communicate that you place a high priority on the other party. A gift is said to mean, “I’m thinking about you”.
Don’t stop giving to prove you’re changing. Give your time, your money, and your connections. It’s the best way to prove your change and it’ll heal up whatever emotional wounds you’ve caused.
Go on dates, get closer through every means there is and just over time, you’ll have the full attention of your partner. It’s how to fix a relationship you ruined.
How to Fix a Relationship After Lying
Fixing a broken relationship that ended because of distrust is the hardest I know. The weight of the lie told notwithstanding. Once trust is broken, it’s really hard to fix. So, can a broken relationship be restored? Yes, it can.
Just like I mentioned earlier, if it got broken because of distrust, then it’ll require much patience to make it work.
The basic truth is that you can’t have a relationship without trust. Building trust is crucial in this circumstance, and that’s how to fix a relationship after lying. Going forward, you’ll have to become consistent and earn your partner’s trust again, although it’s bound to take time.
Without much ado, let’s dive into this topic and learn how to fix a relationship after lying.
• Remorsefully apologize for the lie and what it caused: You may wonder why I started with the adverb ‘remorsefully’. Remorse is the expression of regret and guilt.
When you apologize to your partner in remorse, it paints the picture of someone who realizes the gravity of breaking one’s trust. This is the first action point on how to fix a relationship you ruined with lies.
Also, apologize for what your lie caused. In some cases, a lie you told caused a fight in another relationship or even led to the waste of money.
Whatever the case may be, apologize remorsefully. This action will also show that you’ve taken full ownership of your action; you feel bad about it and have decided to not repeat it.
• Listen to your partner: When apologizing about a lie, you should expect interrogations from your partner. Don’t shy away from giving the right answers. It’s better to be plain and feel bad for a moment than to cover up the lies.
You may not feel too good about the questions asked, or the anger displayed by your partner. But stick through it and listen.
In the process of interrogation, avoid interrupting your partner because you feel bad about what was said. Rather, show that you’re listening to them by either nodding your head or blinking your eyes. If you take seriously this step on how to fix a relationship you ruined, you’ll be well on your way to fixing it.
• Learn integrity and be consistent: Owning up to your actions and apologizing are very good steps to start with but not enough. After apologizing, you’ll need to learn integrity and be consistent with your actions.
Especially in the area of the lie you told, practice transparency. For instance, if you lied to your partner about your closing hours, make it a habit to report the exact time you got off work.
Also, in being consistent, stay true to your every word. If something came up that will change what you’ve said earlier, reach out to your partner and explain yourself. Being transparent and consistent will secure trust again.
This is the tail of the roadmap on how to fix a relationship you ruined with lies.
How to Fix a Broken Relationship After Breaking Up
Whoops! After breaking up? How do you know if a relationship is worth saving? I’m trying to wrap my head around this. But I’ll tell you what I think. A relationship is worth saving if it holds dear to you, if it’s beneficial to you, the breakup nonetheless.
When you broke up, I’m sure you must have felt a sudden absence of something valuable. That’s also an indicator that the relationship is worth saving, and this means you’ve got to know how to fix a broken relationship after breaking up.
If you want your relationship back, then you’ve got to learn how to fix a relationship that was ruined either by you or your partner. Fortunately, I’ve written this to help you learn that.
What you’ll learn from this article is what I call ‘the default button’. To be able to make use of this button, you have to set your eye as flint and decide to push it through.
Now at this point, I must clearly state that it’s not automatic. It’s no magic. It takes time. The button works when you put in the work by being patient, committed, and strategic.
Your relationship is in a bad state, and to change that verdict, you also have to do some painting, rather than complaining. Let’s take some scrolls down to see these solutions.
• Reflect on your decision and know your partner’s opinion: Do you want to fix a relationship after a breakup? I’m curious to know what led to the breakup initially. The breakup isn’t the problem, but what led to it.
Breakups don’t just happen in a day. Someone must have been nursing the intention, and the other party must have sensed it too.
So, the one who’s nursed the breakup, and the other party that was affected have to review the decision to fix things. If the breakup was your idea, you’ve got to learn how to fix a relationship you ruined.
To this effect, you need to reflect on your decision to fix the relationship, and also hear the other party’s opinion on the fixing. If it’s a mutual decision to fix the relationship, then, you’ve got lesser work to do.
• Take things at a slow pace: No relationship is built in a day. Just as it takes a large amount of time, effort, and days and weeks to form a baby, the same applies to relationship building.
It’s more difficult if it’s a relationship that’s starting over again. The past hurts and experiences triggers often and can slow down the pace of building a sustainable relationship. The way out therefore is to take things at a slow pace. This allows the affected party ample time to heal and to trust again.
In this stage, keep communication constant. Do not allow situations that’ll prove otherwise from your intention to fix the relationship. For instance, stay transparent and committed. This is how to fix a relationship you ruined.
• Do not dig up the hurtful experience: Your discipline to stay clear of instigating hurtful past experiences will help you to fix your broken relationship.
If you ever have to bring up experiences, let them be lovely. If you want to figure out how to fix a relationship you ruined, then you’ve got to take this as important.
You can as well stay clear of past experiences, thereby, you’ll be pushing the default button accurately. In this stage, take out time to prove that you’ve changed and your ex will accept you.
The above surefire tips are guaranteed to teach you how to fix a relationship you ruined. The nature of the damage nonetheless, if you commit to applying these tips, you’ll save your relationship.
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