How to Be a Classy Lady in a Relationship: 20 Ignored Secrets (2022)
Since the beginning of time, there have been relationships and how to be a classy lady in a relationship has been the main virtue every smart lady wants. Mutual respect is a key ingredient to successful relationships; one character in women that makes them respected in relationships is elegance, another word for this in the 21st century is classiness.
After falling in love, you go on tooth-achingly romantic outings or dates, have conversations that go into the night, not wanting to say ‘goodnight’ so an additional five minutes is spent arguing playfully on who should hang up. Sigh, beautiful memories.
Love in a relationship pivots around the personalities of the individuals involved and should be treated tenderly. The attitude of how to be a classy lady in a relationship is one knowledge that has been lacking in relationships for a long time, thereby causing so much friction that sometimes results in a breakup.
The main reason we enter romantic relationships is to tend to one another’s deeply rooted needs, and that is one complex journey to embark on without knowing our tips on how to be a classy lady in a relationship which after you have read through, your romantic life with your man should be more of a smooth sail than before.
Before we forge ahead, we have to understand what it means to be a classy lady. It is an often misused term, being classy is not the same as being rich, not all rich people are classy and not all classy people are rich.
I just have to say, I don’t have anything against the rich, I’m just trying to make us realize classiness is most times not tied to wealth, but if you are wealthy and classy, I’m very happy for you. But being a lady is enough reason for you to be classy. In this post, you’re going to learn how to have more class.
Exactly what does it mean when a man calls you classy? What is in the mind of the majority when they think of the word ‘class’?
Being classy means to be elegant, sophisticated, admirable. It means to be cool (classy is a higher level of cool), `a la mode. None of the things I’ve just mentioned requires you to be rich.
This is a major misconception about being classy or elegant. We believe that we need a ton of money especially for couture clothes and designer boots. There are enough rich snobs in the world, let’s change our mindset already. Learning how to be a classy lady in a relationship is learning how to be an elegant lady in a relationship.
Elegance is more about the mind of a lady than externalities. As Georgio Armani said, “Elegance is not about being noticed, it’s about being remembered.” True class is on the inside, whatever shows on the outside can only be a product of what is inside, I hope we always keep this little piece of wisdom with us.
“A woman with class is timeless” – anonymous
As a lady, being classy is internal. It’s about good breeding, character and a woman’s sense of self-worth, it’s about understanding yourself and your neighbor, it’s about gracefulness in your daily activities, it’s about stylishness in the things you already have. How to be a classy lady in a relationship helps in enjoying more peace and harmony in your relationship, and that honestly is a personal gain for you.
Characteristics Of A Classy Woman
The characteristics of a classy woman are simple yet can be somewhat undetectable because she doesn’t live for all eyes to see, yet subtly attracts attention. She is a woman that has the laws of being classy already in her inner configuration. The breakdown of how to be a classy lady in a relationship is also seen in what is inside of a classy lady.
A classy woman is not a woman who wears couture clothes, eats gourmet meals at fancy restaurants, and speaks in a British accent, that’s a rich woman. Especially in this generation, you cannot be a rich snob without a lot of issue from social media. Before you run off giggling and blushing with your friends saying “he says I’m classy”, calm down and look at what it means to be a classy woman. Let us look at the characteristics of a classy woman.
• SHE IS ELEGANT:
A classy woman is an elegant woman. An elegant woman is a woman of confidence. She sounds, walks, eats, and lives elegantly. She is confident in all her affairs and lives like such even while she’s in a relationship. Funny thing is that she might live in a tiny cute cottage, not a million-dollar apartment.
• SHE IS ELOQUENT:
One of the characteristics of a classy woman is that she is conscious of the way she speaks, not letting rash words spill from her mouth without thought. A classy lady knows that whatever she says shows what she thinks in her heart and that words have a powerful force to turn minds.
She can keep a conversation going and does not have her man bored. She speaks thoughtfully, she does not offend her man with the words of her mouth, women can sometimes do that. Therefore, she is an articulate speaker, and might I say, a romantic speaker.
• SHE IS CONSIDERATE:
A classy woman is kind to other people around her, she is conscious that people around her are all facing unknown wars. She is aware that her partner might have just had a bad day at work, so she’s perceptive enough to hold certain words, thoughts, and ease his burden.
She wears a smile to momentarily melt troubles away and her actions have the touch of a kind heart. This is handled in the book by Candace Cameron Bure “Kind is the New Classy.”
• SHE IS FASHIONABLE:
She knows her ‘personal style’ and makes it work accordingly. She is meticulous about how she looks because she knows that she is addressed based on how she dresses. If she is to be regarded as a classy woman that she is, she has to dress accordingly.
In this generation, style is so much regarded and consciousness of this is part of the characteristics of a classy woman. She is well-versed on how a woman should carry herself and live by it.
She has a standard and she lives up to it such that heads turn when she walks down the street. She is capable of keeping the attention of her man when it comes to her style, always so captivating.
• SHE IS COURTEOUS:
A woman of a class has a good grasp on etiquette for all occasions or at least most occasions. She is polite, follows protocol, and believes in the proper code of behaviors. She is cultured. In a relationship, this character is already ingrained in her and she just unconsciously lives that way.
• SHE IS INTELLIGENT:
She is knowledgeable about life via experience or learning. She is well-informed and she surrounds herself with like-minded people. She is intuitive and creative.
She knows that as a classy woman, she cannot afford to be ignorant of the events surrounding her, or she would be a bit boring and might appear uninformed which would be sorrowful as the 21st century is an ‘information age’.
• SHE IS RESPONSIBLE:
She likes to go the extra mile for people. A classy woman takes responsibility for her actions and is a generally well-respected personality because she is respectful. What goes around comes around. She can move when she ought to and respond when she ought to, and that is one of the most beautiful characteristics of a classy woman.
• SHE IS WISE:
She is discerning meaning she is wise in relating to people and can see below the surface. She is a listener and she is patient. Does that sound like someone you know? As a 21st century woman, she defies the odds. She knows and lives as the answers to the question, what do men like the most? She is a gem to whoever finds her.
• SHE IS DEPENDABLE:
Trust is something we lack in our generation as we look out for “I, ME AND MYSELF”. But a classy lady is a woman of her word, she is dependable. Her man’s mind can be put at ease when she is in charge of a thing because she doesn’t fail to deliver her best as she is reliable.
What Makes A Woman Elegant
It has been established that being classy is also the same as being elegant. This is similar to the characteristics or make-up of a classy lady. Elegance is beautiful and women should work towards it. But the truth about what makes a woman elegant is not an easy pill to swallow.
What makes a woman elegant is most times never something we’re born with. You see elegance in a woman through observation, but the accurate answer you would get is when you move closer to that woman and see what makes her up. How to be a classy lady in a relationship pivots around elegance because they are quite similar subjects.
Elegance is consciously developed over time. Elegance is the quality of being graceful and attractive. Elegance is a thing of the mind. Now, let us look at our ideas of what makes a woman elegant;
• As I said earlier, the internal formation of elegance is trickier than the externalities. It is about self-discovery and this is a difficult path to tread. It takes trust and confidence to become elegant on your inside. The victory in succeeding in this battle will make you a kind of girl girls looking for.
It is a mental, emotional and psychological struggle because how you dress/eat/talk/walk/study comes from internal configurations that were built since childbirth. What makes a woman elegant is in changing those configurations which is a struggle.
• What makes a woman elegant is her success in building elegant characters. This is not to change your personality because uniqueness is needed in this 21st century as we are beginning to love being someone else more than being ourselves. Your uniqueness will make men look to you when they wonder what to look for in a woman to marry.
• An elegant woman is confident and strong because she has fought to build up herself. This knowledge makes you know exactly how to carry herself with elegance no matter your stature/age/size/color. How to be a classy lady in a relationship is also dependent on the strength a woman has, which is mostly internal, the ability to endure ugly happenings and not break.
• Love makes a woman elegant. Is it surprising? When a woman is in love, she naturally has the characters listed above. Why? She is in love. Butterflies can make you do something you didn’t think you were capable of. It’s a force that can drive us to do anything, and when used rightly and appropriated rightly, you would turn out to appear elegant.
How To Be A Classy Lady In A Relationship With An Alpha Male
We have discussed the nitty-gritty of how to be a classy lady in a relationship and looked at what makes a woman elegant. Now, when such a lady ends up in a relationship with an alpha male, the story changes.
In a new relationship, classy Betty and alpha Marcus must learn to work together to make their new relationship work. Therefore, they must go through our tips on how to be a classy lady in a relationship with an alpha male so they can manage their relationship well.
Being realistic, an alpha male in a relationship brings a little bit of friction because there is a struggle for control. A classy lady doesn’t want to submit to someone who is naturally in control and the alpha male believes he should be in control.
First, we must understand who an alpha male is. Many things are easily misunderstood in these days we are in. An alpha male is not a Neanderthal (one who suggests a caveman in appearance, mentality, behavior). When the phrase ‘alpha male’ is mentioned, the first thing we think of is a man covered with hair and his knuckles touching the floor grunting and growling “my woman”.
An alpha male is a true man. Not that other men are fake, you get me? He is a man engaged or experienced in warfare (not necessarily a sword battle). He is a boss man, a motivation to other men, the man every lady wants. It’s difficult to ride over such a man, he is intimidating to other people.
In a relationship, he is expected to be dominating. A normal woman who is in a relationship with an alpha male will easily or quickly lose herself in such a relationship because such a male partner can be overwhelming to be with. As you learn how to be a classy lady in a relationship, you must be prepared if you happen to be in a relationship with an alpha male.
As a classy lady who happens to be in a relationship with an alpha male, you would have to figure out how to ground yourself yet give yourself to your partner. In this scenario, one must understand how to be a classy lady in a relationship with an alpha male. Here we go;
• BE CONFIDENT
A woman who is not confident, she would second-guess every move and decision she makes and will ultimately see her partner a god in the relationship which is quite unhealthy. She must be confident and quick to make up her mind.
• BE SMART
You can be confident, yet be a bit slow, but that does not do too much good. If Marcus says “honey, can you help me answer this question quickly for an online test? What are gills on a fish used for?” and Miss Betty answers “yeah, it might be to eat plankton in the water?” Fail! What does that even mean?
You see the reason why a classy lady must be very intelligent. You lose certain importance and sense of responsibility when you are not so smart. Don’t be sad honey, you can build up yourself if you are lagging here. That’s the whole point of learning how to be a classy lady in a relationship. In the early centuries, women were seen and not heard, but now that a revival of women’s rights has appeared in the 20th century, a classy lady must not be without knowledge.
• BE SUBMISSIVE
An unpleasant situation arises when an alpha male is in a relationship with a woman that never admits he is right, or cannot bend to his will. As a classy lady, the art of submission must be mastered, it does not mean losing your worth but simply listening with your heart and obeying. Secretly, this is what guys look for in a girl’s personality.
• BE RESPECTFUL
Known is the fact that alpha males like to be in control. You can try to be submissive and end up being quite rude which is also wrong. Alpha male or no alpha male, a classy lady must be respectful, it is a virtue that can’t go wrong.
In knowing how to be a classy lady in a relationship with an alpha male, it must be internalized that a classy lady is a respectful or well-mannered lady.
• BE DEPENDABLE
As we seek knowledge on how to be a classy lady in a relationship, very important is the awareness that though an alpha-male loves to be in control, he also is a human being that needs help from time to time from his partner.
If you are an unreliable person, I already smell the smoke of that relationship on fire because you would lose some levels of respect. But you can turn it around and work towards being trustworthy as was discussed earlier in this post.
Be a dependable woman, and your man would love you even more than he already does. Guys! This is one of the major aspects of what you should look for in a woman. Being trustworthy is quite important.
• BE ACCOMMODATING
The alpha male can sometimes be overwhelming in his manners. He wants to be in control, seeing to your every need and making sure you know that he has got you covered. But you’re a classy lady, you’re resourceful, independent or opinionated; you might feel a little overwhelmed, but if you shut your man down too many times when he wants to help, who wins? No one.
You should learn to let him take the lead and hear him out, let him lift you and open the door, let him cook sometimes, let him feel good about himself. Be the damsel in distress and make him feel like a real man. Remember that being considerate is also how to be a classy lady in a relationship.
A classy lady must be able to adjust when he wants to take the lead. A give and take relationship is a happy relationship because no one would feel like he/she is being drained. Be flexible, stiffness helps no one.
• BE LOVING
What is a relationship without love? A business. As a woman who is gaining knowledge on how to be a classy lady in a relationship with an alpha male, you must remember to be friendly, caring, sweet, and oh so loving. It equals ‘a happy relationship’.
How To Be A Mature Woman In A Relationship
In a regular relationship, with or without an alpha male in it because not every male has alpha abilities, you cannot afford to be immature. This is going to be a breakdown of upgrading your status in the knowledge of how to be a mature woman in a relationship. You know unless a man wants to rule your life, what men like in a woman is maturity.
Maturity is a good thing and should be something we should acquire. Maturity is a skill that is acquired and naturally gained by a few, but most people have to work towards being mature. When one has mastered the art of how to act mature in life, life becomes easier. How to be a classy lady in a relationship also depends on maturity, because what is classiness without maturity? I don’t know.
Maturity is an ability to respond to others and the outside world appropriately, without drama. In our daily communication and discoveries, we learn and we grow, those who recognize the wisdom in observation and perception of the world around them are those who can handle themselves in the outside world. These are mature individuals.
Let us look at how to be a mature woman in a relationship;
• In a relationship, a mature woman is a woman who can take responsibility for her actions. She does not play the blame-game. She is ready to admit her faults. After a fight, she is the first to say “I’m sorry”, she does not wave your faults in your face but she recognizes them and admits neither of you is perfect. An elegant woman has manners if you don’t already know this.
• Maturity is evident in a relationship when a woman can team up with her partner to achieve the goals of their relationship. She doesn’t sit back and let her man do all the work but she cooperates and supports him. She is not selfish with herself towards her partner but she is goal-oriented.
• She is committed to the relationship because she is hopeful. As Brian Tracy said
“relationships are the hallmark of a mature person”, therefore she’s not giving up easily and chooses to be optimistic. That is a major characteristic of a mature woman in a relationship. She is resilient and this helps her handle issues like a classy lady.
• She is sincere with herself and to others, especially to her partner. She does not underplay a matter but says it as it is and does not overreact and blow problems beyond proportion. She knows how to be a classy lady in a relationship and not just an average woman.
• As a classy lady who acts maturely, she is not merely a lover but is intimate with her partner. She is not shallow neither does she consider her relationship shallow but she deepens the relationship with her intimacy. Intimacy is what a lot of men seek unknowingly when searching for what to look for in a woman to date.
• She does not hold a grudge. She is kind and tender-hearted. She is quick to say ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’. She tolerates her partner’s weaknesses and boosts his morale. She is forgiving.
• She is sure of herself and therefore she can bring stability in the relationship. She can make difficult decisions and carry out difficult conquests, this is the kind of woman a man appreciates because she knows how to be a classy lady in a relationship.
• She can endure and compromise when she needs to, she does not overthink. She is willing to see things from her partner’s perspective. Yet, her partner can see signs she has high standards but can bend to his needs. This is uncommon and you can emulate this.
How To Behave Like A Lady In A Relationship
In a relationship, you can either be a girl or a lady. We’re going to see the breakdown on how to behave like a lady in a relationship. Keeping this in mind, let’s remember the sweet feelings of a new relationship.
Entering a new relationship signifies a whole new experience because you’re going to be sharing yourself with someone and your response in the relationship will determine the fate of such a relationship. After the initial ‘butterflies’ and ‘rainbows’ experience, you’re going to have to face the music.
Realistically, girls do not know how to act in a relationship with a guy, not because they don’t want to know, but because of the maturity and experience factor. This is why most childhood relationships die young. Guidelines on how to be a classy lady in a relationship are extended into this topic as ladies defer in ladies.
Not every lady is a lady, did you get that? We have ladies, then we have ladies and what separates them is class. There is the common use of lady which is an affectionate term used to refer to a woman, then there is a lady who is a woman of higher class (a higher class as in ingrained attitudes that separates her from every girl) which we are going discuss below.
Being a lady in a relationship is a matter of maturity and not age, you can find young ladies and old ladies, the important thing is being a lady.
The following tips on how to behave like a lady in a relationship can help a lady to be valued in the relationship because men do not want to be hooked to an immature individual.
• A lady is an emotionally mature woman, you can’t go on and on like a drama queen on a tiny issue that just popped up. A lady is calm and collected, the signs of a graceful woman are visible in her. How to behave like a lady in a relationship is tied to elegance. If you want to be a lady in your relationship, you have to sit and be patient in learning the ways of elegance.
• How to behave like a lady in a relationship is also tied to the attitude of optimism. No one likes to be tied to a dull Mandy because nothing excites her or gives her hope, she definitely would not care if the relationship ended or not. But a positive Kelly would be a ray of hope in a relationship, would be an anchor when the relationship hits a storm on the sea.
• A lady in a relationship is an initiator. She must learn to initiate conversations, outings, ideas et al because being docile is not a good look on a lady. A lady is opinionated in a good way, she is not quiet when she ought to speak.
She can sometimes be seen as talkative but it is preferable than being a keeper of grudges, storing things inside, and faking to be quiet when a whole lot is going on inside. She is capable of expressing herself articulately, remember it is one of the signs you know how to be a classy lady in a relationship.
• How to behave like a lady in a relationship is depicted when a lady can understand what her partner does not say aloud. She is intuitive and can sense when there is a problem.
She is perceptive and does not let anything slip by her. When her man is in need, she is the first to know, she easily decodes hidden things and can read between the lines. A lady is a meticulous woman.
• She understands she does not know everything and can keep an open mind to what comes around her. A lady in a relationship is not a girl that throws a tantrum when she sees things are not the way she thought. She welcomes new ideas and therefore can build herself and improve.
• There is always a new way to spice things up and make the relationship interesting. She is full of ideas and is quick to express them, creativity is key in her day to day life.
Surprise your man in a good way, everyone likes to be around someone who is never boring. One way to keep things interesting is to find mature things to talk about in a relationship, and occasionally laugh about silly things/events.
• You can’t have two cooks in the kitchen or two captains on a ship or two typists on a computer. That is a disaster. One must learn to submit to the other or the result would be a sour soup, a capsized ship, and a ruined computer. Learning to work together, harmonize, and agree with one another is one beautiful thing to see in a relationship.
How to be a classy lady in a relationship is also tied to the amount of harmony you can generate in a relationship. As a lady in a relationship, you can learn to agree with your partner and make things easier instead of bickering about who is wrong and who is right.
A lady teams up with her partner and shows that she is of great value to her spouse, she is not just a lady but shows signs that she is a queen on the inside without all that glamour.
How To Be Sophisticated And Classy
At this point, I see no need to explain what it means to be classy. You already know it does not involve wearing fur coats and leather gloves sipping tea in the afternoon and tapping an ashtray full of expensive cigars bragging about your latest trip to the Pacific.
Neither does it involve looking down your nose at every lady wearing a shirt from the department store. How to be a classy lady in a relationship is not in expecting your man to fall to his knees and kiss your fingers at the beauty of your imaginary classiness.
I believe at this point, my darling readers, we should also stop thinking of Neanderthals when we hear the phrase ‘alpha men’. Instead, let’s take a breath. Go on and take a deep breath. Don’t forget to breathe out. And let us consider how to be sophisticated and classy.
First, we have to understand what it means to be sophisticated. To be sophisticated is to be experienced, seasoned, and not in a bad way. It means to be refined, cultured, at this point, an individual is elegant.
To be sophisticated is a way of life, once again, it is a mindset. There are steps on how to be sophisticated and classy whether you are a male or a female, old or young, British, or American.
We know that to be classy is to be sophisticated and admirable. It is an awareness of the worth you have and it is on the inside.
Here we have tips or lessons on how to be sophisticated and classy;
• You must learn the art of being stylish. Fashionable. You dress the way you would like to be addressed. To be addressed as someone who knows how to be sophisticated and classy, you must be well aware of your composure. You should have a good carriage, posture, and be confident in yourself.
A sophisticated man or woman does not struggle with their shoes or tie in public. You must know what to wear and when to wear, for example, you cannot show up in a hot red dress for a burial, neither will you wear flip-flops to your cousin’s wedding rehearsal. You would look like a total fool. It is better to overdress it a bit than to underdress for an occasion.
A sophisticated person might have only a few clothes but he/she would have a unique way of putting those pieces together to create a beautiful outfit that shows you know the art of how to be sophisticated and classy.
• This might be sound strange but I just have to say it. YOU MUST HAVE GOOD HYGIENE. You can’t be sophisticated if you smell like a stale burrito even if you are wearing a designer suit. You can’t have a hint of green in your teeth and put on the latest Dior lipstick.
If you can’t take care of your body, you cannot accurately take care of your fashion items. You have to be firm with what goes into your body. Do the basics, bathe at least twice a day, and brush your teeth twice a day also, use good cologne, take care of your environment.
Have good table manners, don’t burp in public, fart in public, or stick your finger in your nose. This is a simple fact in learning how to be sophisticated and classy. Whatever you wear will look like trash the moment you act like a three-year-old in hygiene. If you’re a woman, how to be a lady etiquette should be something you are conscious of, wrong move and you would look like an uncouth individual.
• I have said it over and over again, but I’m going to keep on repeating it. Be knowledgeable. Do you remember what happened to Alpha Marcus and Slow Betty? To master how to be a classy lady in a relationship, you must be sophisticated, to be sophisticated, you must be ready to work to be knowledgeable.
You must discipline yourself in discussing the cool stuff with people. Not spending your time watching brain-melting comedies and thrillers that would not matter in a discussion about the world economy and inflation.
If you don’t want to be stuck saying-
“ … yeah, I know right?”
“… Yeah… hmm… hmm” (sips a little wine)
“… (clears throat… sips more wine… ends up drunk)”
-in a conversation even though you’re dressed like all those smart people in the room. You have to be well informed. Read the news, know your art, be updated in politics, read books. Just read, read and read. Listen to audiobooks and go and join a book club if possible.
• When you think of the most sophisticated person you can imagine, what do you see? He/she is calm. Sophisticated people do not overreact, they don’t blow things out of proportion. Why? They are realistic. They aren’t biased, because they can see things from different angles/perspectives.
They don’t speak brashly letting curse words flow out of their mouths every 2.5 seconds because a waiter accidentally poured a little wine on their table.
It’s a beautiful thing to watch a person who takes everything in before responding. In men, who most times can jump the line or are easily provoked, this is one urbane characteristic or sign that he is a classy man.
• A sophisticated/classy person does not brag.
“Oh, I went to India just because I can and I got this antique gold bracelet which cost $5000”
You don’t have to be rich to know how to be sophisticated and classy. And if you are, I’m happy for you but you don’t need to brag. People respect a person who has yet does not speak about it. I’m not saying you should be selfish but not everybody has to know what is going on in your life.
It also does not mean you are a pretender, just that you have your private business and you choose to keep it private. You don’t make other people uncomfortable unless it is unavoidable.
• Who’s cooler than someone who knows how to speak multiple languages? I don’t know. Individuals learning how to be sophisticated and classy should look at adding a new language to his/her lingua franca.
A little French would do, maybe Spanish, or Swedish. I’m sorry, those are just my tastes, you would have to consider learning a new language to increase your level of cool.
• A sophisticated and classy man/woman/boy/girl must learn how not to be desperate. Desperation looks good on no one. You have to learn how to say “no” and mean it. You have to learn how to say “Thank You”, and you have to learn how to say “No, thank you”.
In this training on how to be a more refined individual, I trust you have been helped. I also believe this post should breed more responsible individuals and help reduce the number of misunderstandings and rude people in this 21st century.
If you liked this post or if you felt it has helped you in any way, you can comment down below what you thought about the post and how it helped you. You can also share it on your social media platforms, send it to someone you feel might need it, and build more happy relationships.
Be happy and spread love. Thank you.
Thank you ❤️
Thanks for reading, Bridget Chinesem Nwokah! Read more on practical ways to know what maturity is and what isn’t in a love relationship from an expert.